Day five with Ella. Things are definitely getting better. She will now let me change her diaper and change her clothes without a fight. She isn't potty trained as we were told when she came here. Maybe she is "squatty trained" but she's not potty trained. She will let me feed her if Dale is touching her. We have been playing some today and I think the bonding process between us is beginning. It seems as though she thinks she would be betraying her foster mother if she accepts me as her new Mommy because every time she looks at me she starts crying for her Ma-Ma and De-De which is her little brother. Every now and then she says Lao-Lao which is her grandmother. She must miss them so much. I can't imagine being ripped from their home and never seeing them again. Part of me feels it's wrong. I know she will be better off with us but it still seems wrong to take her from everything she knows. When we are outside she scans all around as if she is trying to find her mother's face in the crowded city. I wish we could have met them. I want to know where she lived. Where she slept. Where she ate. I want to know everything about her before we leave here. A part of her will forever be left behind.
Egg rolls and fried rice. Where are all the egg rolls and fried rice? I haven't seen any egg rolls yet and they are my favorite.
We missed the lunch buffet so we had to wait until 6:00 pm to eat. They are all beginning to know us down in the restaurant. The chef came out to meet us when we walked in and watched us lift all the lids to the different dishes on the buffet and asked if we were looking for the "spaghetti with tomatoes" we had last night and we said "yes". He soon returned with a huge plate of spaghetti for us. The boys devoured it and so I asked if there was fried rice anywhere and just as quickly as he brought the spaghetti he returned with a plate of fried rice. I guess since this is a "western restaurant" (not as western as we would like it to be) there isn't even soy sauce on the tables so he brought me a bowl of it for my rice. "To-go boxes" seem to lose something in translation. He brought me out a plastic bag and dumped the rice off the plate into it for me to bring to Dale. I'm posting a picture of him eating it straight out of the bag.
Tomorrow we go to a museum. It's the largest one in Inner Mongolia. Getting out of this room for anything will be a treat for us all. We've been cooped up in here for two days and we are stir crazy. It's 7:00 and that's become our new bedtime so I'll write more tomorrow.
Love to all,
Priscella
Thursday, October 9, 2008
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4 comments:
I know. I was thinking about her other family too. It's weird because of course she can't tell you anything about her experience, and you haven't seen her first several months like you did with the boys.
I can't imagine how hard that is for you to think about. And just saying that she will be better off sounds so trite. But think about how well-loved and anticipated she has been - not just with you but all of us.
She will leave a part of her behind, but you'll make sure it's never destroyed. She's losing a big thing, that's why it's so hard. BUT - she's gaining so so so much more.
I'm glad your chef was so sweet; sounds like you guys have made a good impression. Was it just the best spaghetti ever??
Just like Jenn, I have thought about her leaving part of her behind, and about how hard it must be for her to be taken so suddenly from the only family she's known. One thing to consider, since they were a foster family, not adoptive, they probably only planned to 'sign on' to care for her for a limited time, then perhaps take on another little one. So, if you can think of it that way, that they didn't plan to make it permanent, and she might have been moved to several places had you not come and welcomed her into your loving arms, then maybe it might make it a little easier. I think you're right, Priss, in that she probably does feel like she's betraying 'mamma' to have you be her mommy. But...it sounds like she's already more and more accepting of you in your new role as her mommy. You have such patience with her, and even though it's painful for you, you are thinking through her little eyes and heart, what a wonderful mommy you are to her, already! It's going to take time, but the end result will be well worth it, and I know you know that! The very fact that she DID bond to her foster family is really such a positive thing, because babies who do not bond to someone in that crucial first year, never can seem to be able to do so for the rest of their lives. So, hard as it is, it is a blessing, really. Glad ya'll have found some 'western' food to eat. You'll have to look up egg roll in chinese! :0) Love you all and miss you, all is well here. I didn't see the new pics, so maybe you haven't loaded them yet. Email when you can. Love you! M
Hey I just wanted to say hello. I have a lot of questions for when you get back. I hope you are having a good time in China. I hope that Ella will get to know you soon so she won't cry as much.
Much love,
Kaylin Abshire
I'm so glad to finally get to see Logan with Ella, it is such a cute and sweet picture. He looks like he's really enjoying her, what a great smile - on Logan!! :-) I love the ones of 'happy girl' and 'sassy girl'. It's so weird in some shots, like those two, she looks so big, and so much older, then in others, like the one with Logan, and the one on your lap, or with you holding her, she looks tiny and petite, and still very much like a baby. Can't wait to see for myself, with my own eyes! It looks like she's really taken to the boys,and they to her. I'm so very glad of that. They'll make wonderful big brothers for her, she'll have them wrapped around her little finger in no time, if she doesn't already!! ;-) Dale looks to have mastered chopsticks, you'll have to give us a lesson when things settle down. I can see how much happier Ella looks since the first day's pictures, what a wonderful improvement. Thanks for keeping us all posted and for the great pictures. Love you all, M
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